Top 5 Masturbators you need for the summer

Okay guys, it’s time for one of those arbitrary lists people love so much.

What? Well, it works! You’re here checking this out and you’re thinking about treating yourself to one of our excellent toys, aren’t you? The thing is, it might be one of those common (and sometimes cynical) lists, but we’re not being dishonest when we say these toys are pretty damn great, and we really have chosen them specifically because they’re the best of the best right now.

You should have seen the fight we had in the office trying to pick only 5. I’ll never walk without a limp again.

Also, we have no idea why they’re just “for the summer”, but the marketing guy we abducted from a women’s fashion company seems to think it’s the way to go.

5. Perfect Pal Frosted Big Mouth Stroker

Big Mouth masturbatorIt’s an oldie, but a goodie. They don’t make these anymore as far as I know, and we’re not exactly sure why. We’re certain they’re not made from a rare mineral or anything like that. Why did we pick this one? We love sleeves that we can really play with and change to suit our mood and style and the Perfect Pal is a wide open toy that you can squish and squeeze in all kinds of ways to add more sensation. It’s not *just* a tube with nubs or ribs inside it (okay, it is), it can be shared with a buddy if you’re into mutual wanks (come on, even the straightest of you would be into that, be honest!) We only have a few of these left, so once they’re gone that’s it. Check it out and get yours.

4. Travel Gripper Pussy And Ass Masturbator

Travel pussyYes, this is another oldie but another goodie. And yes, it’s another great choice for those who might be interested in sharing their wank with a friend and experiencing a little frottage fun inside it. If you’re not into that, it’s still a great toy because it’s incredibly affordable for a dual hole masturbator, and it has two sexy openings for you to switch between, just to mix things up a little. It says it’s “maintenance free”, but please be sure to wash it out, otherwise you’ll be wondering where that smell is coming from in a few days and we can’t be having that. Click for more info, buy it and enjoy.

3. Neon Blue Luv Glove Masturbator

Neon Blue Luv Glove MasturbatorThe Luv Glove is a brand new arrival to BlokeToys, and it’s already proving to be very popular. It might look like the hand of a Marvel comic character (let’s be honest, it would need to be Deadpool related for how you’re gonna be enjoying it) but this flexible glove isn’t going to be saving the world, it’s just going to be saving you from that demanding erection – which is enough reason to appreciate it. It’s a great little thing, affordable and fun, definitely able to give you plenty of thrills. The spikes do look a little threatening, but they’re squishy and bendy and feel amazing. Get one, before they’re all gone and you regret it.

2. Magic Eyes The Mouth of Truth Masturbator

Magic eyes mouth of truth masturbator from Utensil RaceI’m gonna confess that we originally thought this little thing was a little bit creepy looking, but once you get over that “Ahhh! Where is its eyes?!” reaction the mouth you’re sliding into feels incredible. It’s made by Utensil Race, which is one of those little niche companies that makes amazing sex toys and no one seems to know a whole lot about them. They should be right up there with Fleshlight and Tenga, in our opinion. We don’t know why they aren’t more famous with toys like this on offer. It’s got a perfect mouth, with a sucking vacuum ability, little flexible teeth and even a tongue! Yes, seriously. Check it out and get one to be wowed into submission.

1. Satisfyer Men Pleasure Stroker Masturbator

Satisfyer Men Pleasure StrokerWe have to admit that we’ve been promoting the crap out of this masturbator for a couple of weeks now and we’re not planning to stop any time soon #SorryNotSorry. We love this toy so much. It’s remarkable. This is what happens when sex toy companies work out that guys want something that surprises them, like the Fleshlight did when it hit the market. This toy looks like a regular masturbation sleeve, but it has an adjustable internal air cushion function that we find really hard to explain. Remember those trainers with pumps in the tongue that changed how they feel? Yeah, it’s like that, only you’re sliding your cock in there and enjoying an incredible texture while it also sucks your dick, and without any batteries! Or, to put it more simply, it’s powered by magic! Why are you still here? Go and get yours.

Are you entirely uninterested in any of these masturbators? If so, there’s something wrong with you. But aside from that, there’s plenty more in the shop that should have your dick twitching in anticipation. Clicky and see for yourself.


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