Have you ever wondered what the differences are between men and women when it comes to erectile dysfunction? The team here were engaged in an interesting debate about it and thought we’d bring it to the blog after asking a couple of our customers their thoughts.
Without further ado, here are men versus women on their opinions of erectile dysfunction. Ladies first!
Jenny in Manchester
I work in the health business, and while it’s not something I have engaged in debate with patients or colleagues about very often it is something I have experienced in my personal life with former partners and my husband.
First of all, most women understand that there are potentially hundreds of different things that can cause it. We don’t all think it’s because you’re not turned on by us. Although, being assured that it’s not our fault is a good place to start and it can’t really do much harm to make sure we know this.
We get that you might just be tired, that you might just be stressed out, that you might just not be in the mood. It happens, and we can deal with it.
My husband bought some cock rings just for fun (they add a little extra boost to things from time to time) and they actually have come in handy the very few times he’s needed a little assistance. Other than that, we’ve been happy to enjoy other things; it’s not all about penetrative sex.
In fact, the first time it happened (it’s happened perhaps five times over seven years of marriage) he said he learned a lot more about foreplay than he ever knew was possible.
We’ve both learned to please each other in various ways and that’s perhaps, at least in part, because of those few experiences.
I’ll finish by saying that despite that famous scene in Friends where Rachel betrays all women everywhere by suggesting othwerise – It is that common, it does happen to every guy and it’s not a big deal.
Mike in London
I’ve experienced both sides of this issue and I wonder if perhaps gay and bisexual guys might have a different perspective on it to how I imagine most straight men feel.
There’s a certain amount of honesty between guys, a level of understanding that maybe same-sex couples don’t have in this regard. We know what our dicks are like, and we know how tempramental they can be.
We know that it’s not necessarily about the person we’re with, the circumstances or the pleasure. We all know that if that dick doesn’t wanna play then you either have to see if you can persuade it, give up trying for the time being, or just find another way to have some fun.
There’s a persistant myth that sex between men is all about penetration. 99.9% of all gay porn available out there is entirely about anal. Almost every representation of same-sex intimacy between men is portrayed as being entirely aout anal intercourse. From my experience this is an inaccurate portrayal of sex between guys. A lot of the time it’s about masturation and oral sex, and for this reason alone perhaps erectily dysfunction is less of an issue between us?
The times it’s happened to me, or to a partner, have led to a lot of foreplay and enjoyment regardless. Some might not know this, but you can actually climax and ejaculate without having an erection.
Most of the time, persistance pays off and the continued foreplay resolves the problem within a pretty short time, but for instances where it doesn’t there’s plenty of fun and pleasure to be enjoyed without being hard.
Of course, a cock ring can help. I enjoy them even when I don’t need one, and partners I’ve shared experiences with have enjoyed them too. When they are needed, they can really help to get things started.
Ultimately it’s just one of those things every guy experiences at some time but it doesn’t need to be a dramatic and concerning event. Guys seem to make it far more of an issue than it needs to be and I think that just makes things worse for everyone involved.
Relax, have fun, stop stressing about something that’s entirely out of your control.