5 Best Masturbators for May

Everyone is making lists these days, so we (obviously) felt the need to jump on this particular bandwagon.

Shout out to Andy, who seems to love writing lists more than he loves the things he’s listing.

So, how do we comprise this list? We would like to pretend there’s some QI-style mystery formula, but really we just pick out the toys that stood out over the last month, the best-sellers and the underrated.

Let’s get into it!

Tenga 3D Spiral

The Tenga 3d Spiral is in our top 5 masturbator listYes, the good old TENGA 3D range is still getting plenty of love and attention from our customers, even more so now that we’ve been offering a pretty impressive discount for registered customers throughout the last half of April. This spiralling, fleshy, attractive wonder of masturbatory design has always been right up there in the top ten, but over the last month attention for this great toy has risen. This weekend is the last chance to get that discount, but even without it this is probably still going to be a great toy for months to come.

Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage

The Fleshlight Quickshot Vantage is a popular masturbatorWill the Fleshlight company ever release their vice-like grip on the male sex toy business? We thought they were letting things slip a little a couple of years ago, but the Quickshot Vantage seemed to bring them back into power, kind of like a coup snatching leadership from a new young upstart. Sorry, Fleshlight, we didn’t mean to just compare you to an evil dictatorship, honest. The clear design of this doughnut (or is it donut?) toy is what really cinched it for us. The black “Boost” in the duo range is nice, but the clear Vantage really does offer more and we have to confess that seeing guys using it is a little addictive (I hope my boss never gets a look at my search history).

Crystal Skin Penis Sleeve

The Crystal Skin Penis Sleeve is a great masturbator to have in your collectionThis is a little bit of a wild card, but we still think this deserves to be in our top 5 even if you guys look at it and wonder what the big deal is. This is a personal choice for me (along with looking at sales of it over the last couple of months) because it’s still one of my go-to wank toys after more than 5 years of having one. We’ve always said that sometimes the simplest toys are the best, and that’s definitely true of the Crystal Skin. Lined with ticklers inside a bulbous shape, this toy caresses and tickles you, while removing the air creates a vacuum for a different sensation. Twisting it around on your knob is likely to have you erupting in no time at all. Believe me, guys, this is one great little toy to have in the drawer, and it’s so cheap you can’t really go wrong with it.

TENGA Air-Tech Twist – Tickle

TENGA Air-Tech Twist Tickle is in our top 5If you’ve been paying any attention to us lately then you know that we’ve been raving about the TENGA Air-Tech Twist toys, and the Tickle texture (partner to the Ripple) had to be on our list. This has been a popular new addition to the shop and we totally understand why. This amazing masturbator has some great features, with the sucking and stroking texture inside getting you off in no time at all, with the new twisting feature that makes the tunnel tighter or looser depending on your specific needs. If you love a good long session of self-pleasure you really need this in your life. You can come back and thank us later.


Tenga Flex masturbators are comingOkay, you can hate us for a moment, it’s justified. We know those familiar with these toys already (mainly thanks to us, you’re welcome) are probably contemplating throwing their phone or computer through a window right now, but restrain yourself. If you experience the kind of excitement for toys that we do (imagine the entire assembled masses for Comic Con waiting for the new season of Stranger Things) then you get it. The TENGA Flex toys aren’t here yet, but we know the amazing Rocky Black and Silky White masturbators are going to be massively popular from the day they arrive. If you haven’t seen these yet you need to click through and read a little more, then make sure you’re signed up for our newsletter – we’re planning to give you guys a discount for the first few days of them being available in the UK.

There you have it guys, our 5 best masturbators for May, although one of them isn’t available yet we hope it will be soon. Any questions, suggestions or criticisms? Leave a comment, maybe rant a little about how evil we are for teasing you with the Flex.

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